These pieces of advice might be just what you were looking for, but then again, they might not be… who knows? You may not have asked for this advice, but you’re going to get it regardless!
1. “Before You Marry A Person, You Should First Make Them Use A Computer With Slow Internet, To See Who They Really Are.”
2. “If We’re Not Meant To Have Midnight Snacks, Why Is There A Light In The Fridge?”
3. “Today, I Realized That The Word ‘Bed’ Actually Looks Like A Bed”
4. “I Don’t Care How Nice The Hand Soap Smells… You Should Never Walk Out Of The Restroom Sniffing Your Finger”
I mean… this is a surefire way to get loads of weird looks thrown your way. It might not be the advice you want, but it might be the advice you need.
5. “Chocolate Comes From Coco Which Is A Tree, That Makes It A Plant. Chocolate Is Salad.”
Never feel guilty for eating chocolate again, because it’s actually a salad.
6. “There’s A Fine Line Between Tan, And Looking Like You Rolled In Doritos”
If you think it’s too much tan, that’s probably because it is. Be smart, don’t look like a Dorito.
7. “There Is No Angry Way To Say Bubbles”
We all get angry, but if you want a quick way to lighten the mood, try saying “bubbles” in an angry voice and see how impossible it is!
8. “Whatever You Must Do Today… Do It With The Confidence Of A 4-Year-Old In A Batman Cape”
If you’re ever feeling a lack of confidence, this is a great piece of advice to follow.
9. “Nothing Is Really Lost Until Your Mom Can’t Find It”
And if she can’t find it… start panicking!
10. “The Three Hardest Things To Say Are: 1. I Was Wrong, 2. I Need Help, 3. Worcestershire Sauce”
Come on… have you actually ever tried to say it?
11. “If You’re Sitting In Public And A Stranger Takes The Seat Next To You, Just Stare Straight Ahead And Say ‘Did You Bring The Money?’”
We can’t promise the response will be good, but at least you’ll get a laugh out of it!
12. “The Main Function Of The Little Toe On Your Foot Is To Make Sure That All The Furniture In The House Is In Place”
Pretty sure we can all relate…
13. “Don’t Wear Headphones While Vacuuming… I’ve Just Finished The Whole House And Realized The Vacuum Wasn’t Even Plugged In”
14. “You Never Appreciate What You Have Till It’s Gone. Toilet Paper Is A Good Example”
15. “If You Fall, I’ll Be There – Ground”
16. “You Know When You Buy A Bag Of Salad & It Gets All Brown And Soggy? Cookies Don’t Do That.”
17. “It Doesn’t Matter How Old You Are, Buying Snacks For A Road Trip Should Always Look Like An Unsupervised 9-Year-Old Was Given $100”
18. “Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid. Which I Generally Realize Right After I Have Said Them.”
19. “Procrastination Is Totally A Good Thing. You Always Have Something To Do Tomorrow, Plus You Have Nothing To Do Today.”
20. “So It turns Out That Being An Adult Is Mostly Just Googling How To Do Stuff”
Even though you didn’t ask for these pieces of advice, you never know when they might come in handy. Sometimes the best tips and advice are usually the ones we didn’t ask for, so don’t write them off just yet!
If you liked this article, you might enjoy our post, ‘40 Dry Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hysterically‘.