300 Jokes That’ll Make ‘Yo Mama’ Cry (For All Ages)

‘Yo mama’ may not be the peak of comedy anymore, but there is no doubting that they can still get a laugh out of the sternest of people. These jokes will make you king of the playground, or the funniest person in your workplace.

After all, who said that ‘yo mama’ jokes were just for kids?

300 Jokes That’ll Make ‘Yo Mama’ Cry (For All Ages)

Below, we have listed 300 ‘yo mama’ jokes for everyone of all ages to enjoy.

Yo Mama So Fat

  1. Yo mama so fat, she uses cheat codes for Wii Fit.
  2. Yo mama so fat, when she dies in Call of Duty, the guy gets a 5 kill streak.
  3. Yo mama so fat, the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter assigned her into the House of Pancakes.
  4. Yo mama so fat, she’s a map on Fortnite.
  5. Yo mama so fat, when she died she broke the Stairway to Heaven.
  6. Yo mama so fat, she wears two watches… one for each timezone she’s in.
  7. Yo mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise. 
  8. Yo mama so fat, even Dora couldn’t explore her.
  9. Yo mama so fat, she sleeps on both sides of the bed.
  10. Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.
  11. Yo mama so fat, every time she turns around it’s her birthday.
  12. Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
  13. Yo mama so fat, half of her is in a parallel universe.
  14. Yo mama so fat, she went bungee jumping and the bridge broke.
  15. Yo mama so fat, when she made a PSN account, the whole network crashed.
  16. Yo mama so fat, her farts cause global warming.
  17. Yo mama so fat, she asked for a waterbed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
  18. Yo mama so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
  19. Yo mama so fat that when she sat on her iPhone, she invented the first iPad.
  20. Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
  21. Yo mama so fat, she operates Wall Street all by herself.
  22. Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed the entire show.
  23. Yo mama so fat, she had to be baptized at SeaWorld.
  24. Yo mama so fat, she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles.
  25. Yo mama so fat, her splash attack does damage.
  26. Yo mama so fat, she puts on her belt with a boomerang.
  27. Yo mama so fat that when it rains, she uses the highway as a slip-and-slide.
  28. Yo mama so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
  29. Yo mama so fat, my neck broke when I tried to picture her in my head.
  30. Yo mama so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
  31. Yo mama so fat, she goes to the zoo and elephants throw peanuts at her.
  32. Yo mama so fat, she climbed into a monster truck and it became a lower-rater.
  33. Yo mama so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks.
  34. Yo mama so fat, she went out in a green bikini and everyone thought Godzilla had turned up.
  35. Yo mama so fat, her school pictures were taken via satellite.
  36. Yo mama so fat, she brought cereal to the Superbowl.
  37. Yo mama so fat, she volunteered as tribute for the Hunger Games because she thought it was a food eating contest.
  38. Yo mama so fat, she sat next to the whole class back when she was in school.
  39. Yo mama so fat, she played Five Nights at Freddie’s, and Freddie found her.
  40. Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it in half.
  41. Yo mama so fat, the cops use her as a road block.
  42. Yo mama so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
  43. Yo mama so fat, she doesn’t need internet because she’s already worldwide.
  44. Yo mama so fat, when she wears her yellow raincoat, people yell out ‘TAXI!’
  45. Yo mama so fat, when she goes camping, bear hide their food from her.
  46. Yo mama so fat, she broke the family tree.
  47. Yo mama so fat, she goes to work wearing heels and comes back wearing flip-flops.
  48. Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read my phone number.
  49. Yo mama so fat, Google created the ‘Google Mama’ to explore her.
  50. Yo mama so fat, she takes selfies in panorama mode.
  51. Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
  52. Yo mama so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
  53. Yo mama so fat, a whole species went extinct when she bought a new fur coat.
  54. Yo mama so fat, she’s so unfamiliar with the Gym that she calls it ‘James’.
  55. Yo mama so fat, when God said ‘Let there be light!’, he told her to move out of the way.

Yo Mama So Ugly

  1. Yo mama so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
  2. Yo mama so ugly, she’s the reason that Waldo is hiding.
  3. Yo mama so ugly, she joined Instagram and everyone went back to Facebook.
  4. Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the bathroom, she scared the c*** out of the toilet.
  5. Yo mama so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
  6. Yo mama so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
  7. Yo mama so ugly, she played the Scary Maze Game and the picture said ‘I quit’.
  8. Yo mama so ugly, she made an onion cry.
  9. Yo mama so ugly, when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion says ‘stay over there!’
  10. Yo mama so ugly, she looked out of her window and got arrested for mooning.
  11. Yo mama so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone.
  12. Yo mama so ugly, Slenderman runs away from her.
  13. Yo mama so ugly, her reflection said ‘I quit!’.
  14. Yo mama so ugly, neither Edward nor Jacob want her on their team.
  15. Yo mama so ugly, she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out.
  16. Yo mama so ugly, Minecraft creepers are afraid of her.
  17. Yo mama so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
  18. Yo mama so ugly, she logged in to GTA online and instantly got 5 stars. 
  19. Yo mama so ugly, she bought a new car and it transformed and ran away.
  20. Yo mama so ugly, Bob the Builder took one look at her and said ‘I can’t fix that’.
  21. Yo mama so ugly, she was an extra in Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video.
  22. Yo mama so ugly, the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.
  23. Yo mama so ugly, she gives Freddie Kruger nightmares.
  24. Yo mama so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application.
  25. Yo mama so ugly that when she died, the Grim Reaper refused to take her.
  26. Yo mama so ugly, she played Five Nights at Freddie’s, and the animatronics hid from her.
  27. Yo mama so ugly, she puts a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
  28. Yo mama so ugly, Santa Claus saw her and said ‘ho-ho-holy crap!’.
  29. Yo mama so ugly, she’s the reason the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hide in the sewers.
  30. Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
  31. Yo mama so ugly, she’s the reason that Sonic runs so fast.
  32. Yo mama so ugly, One Direction went the other direction.
  33. Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
  34. Yo mama so ugly, kids dress up as her for Halloween.
  35. Yo mama so ugly, not even the Dementors want her soul.
  36. Yo mama so ugly, the Kool Aid Man busted through her wall and said ‘Oh no…’
  37. Yo mama so ugly, she joined an ugly contest and they said ‘sorry, no professionals’.
  38. Yo mama so ugly, not even the Mona Lisa smiles back.
  39. Yo mama so ugly, when she smiles at traffic, the cars start to slow down.
  40. Yo mama so ugly, your dad got fined for littering when he dropped her off at work.
  41. Yo mama so ugly, even Scooby Doo didn’t want to solve that mystery.
  42. Yo mama so ugly, when God said ‘Let there be light!’, he saw yo mama and immediately switched it back off.
300 Jokes That’ll Make ‘Yo Mama’ Cry (For All Ages)

Yo Mama So Stupid

  1. Yo mama so stupid, she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
  2. Yo mama so stupid, she played ‘Got your nose!’ with Voldemort.
  3. Yo mama so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
  4. Yo mama so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the ‘Ws’.
  5. Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
  6. Yo mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it has a hole in it.
  7. Yo mama so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
  8. Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
  9. Yo mama so stupid, she studied for a Covid-19 test.
  10. Yo mama so stupid, she thought Nickelback was a refund.
  11. Yo mama so stupid, she returned a puzzle because she thought it was broken.
  12. Yo mama so stupid, she thought the star of Austin Powers was Michael Myers.
  13. Yo mama so stupid, the doctor told her to burn some calories so she tried to set herself on fire.
  14. Yo mama so stupid, when I said ‘drinks are on the house’, she went and got a ladder.
  15. Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
  16. Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the cops she got mugged.
  17. Yo mama so stupid, she spent 20 minutes staring at a carton of orange juice because it said ‘concentrate’.
  18. Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
  19. Yo mama so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears so she could listen to 50 Cent.
  20. Yo mama so stupid, she put a mask on when her computer caught a virus.
  21. Yo mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say ‘go’.
  22. Yo mama so stupid, she stays up all night trying to catch some sleep.
  23. Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner, and she went to look for it.
  24. Yo mama so stupid, she took her computer to the doctor because it has a virus.
  25. Yo mama so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
  26. Yo mama so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
  27. Yo mama so stupid, she thinks Dunkin’ Donuts is a basketball team.
  28. Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer so it wouldn’t crash again.
  29. Yo mama so stupid, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
  30. Yo mama so stupid, she threw water at her computer to put out a firewall.
  31. Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Superbowl.
  32. Yo mama so stupid, she put paper on the TV and called it ‘Pay-Per View’.
  33. Yo mama so stupid, she heard it was chilly outside and ran inside to grab a bowl.
  34. Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Apple Store to get a Big Mac.
  35. Yo mama so stupid, she yelled at a letter because she wanted to send a voicemail.
  36. Yo mama so stupid, she saw the McDonald’s Drive Thru sign and drove through the whole building.
  37. Yo mama so stupid, she goes to the post office to send an email.
  38. Yo mama so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
  39. Yo mama so stupid, she tried to buy a ticket at Subway.
  40. Yo mama so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
  41. Yo mama so stupid, she keeps a ruler next to her bed to check how long she slept.
  42. Yo mama so stupid, she went to the library, and asked the librarian where she could find the Facebook.
  43. Yo mama so stupid, it took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
  44. Yo mama so stupid, she went to the opticians to get a new iPhone.
  45. Yo mama so stupid, she thought Twitter was a bird selling site.
  46. Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she’d lost her mind, she went looking for it.
  47. Yo mama so stupid, she sat in a tree and said her new job position was a Branch Manager.
  48. Yo mama so stupid, she lost a staring contest with the mirror.
  49. Yo mama so stupid, she tripped over the wireless internet.
  50. Yo mama so stupid, she sold her house to pay for her mortgage. 
  51. Yo mama so stupid, she returned an audiobook because she couldn’t read it.
  52. Yo mama so stupid, she put a stopwatch in a piggy bank so that she could save time.
  53. Yo mama so stupid, she has a stay-at-home job and she’s still late for work.
  54. Yo mama so stupid, she called me to ask for my phone number.
  55. Yo mama so stupid, she sprinkles sugar on her pillow every night so that she will have sweet dreams.
  56. Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.
  57. Yo mama so stupid, she saw a sign that said ‘Disneyland Left’ so she turned around and drove back home.
  58. Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
  59. Yo mama so stupid, she thought the LGBT was a sandwich.
  60. Yo mama so stupid, she tried to eat the cookies on her computer.
  61. Yo mama so stupid, she got called to jury duty, and when they said, ‘Order in the court!’ she asked for a burger and fries.
  62. Yo mama so stupid, even Google can’t translate her.
  63. Yo mama so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
  64. Yo mama so stupid, she didn’t put you up for adoption.

Yo Mama So Poor

  1. Yo mama so poor, she went to KFC to lick people’s fingers.
  2. Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
  3. Yo mama so poor, she chases after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
  4. Yo mama so poor, she hangs toilet paper out to dry.
  5. Yo mama so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
  6. Yo mama so poor, I asked her what’s for dinner, and she took her shoelaces off, and said ‘spaghetti’.
  7. Yo mama so poor, she takes the trash in.
  8. Yo mama so poor, she shouted at me for stamping on a cigarette because she was using it for heating.
  9. Yo mama so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
  10. Yo mama so poor, she makes the roaches pay rent.
  11. Yo mama so poor, when her house got egged, she ran outside with a frying pan and started making dinner.
  12. Yo mama so poor, she calls a thunderstorm a ‘free bar’.
  13. Yo mama so poor, she dropped a pizza on the floor so she could get extra toppings.
  14. Yo mama so poor, burglars bring her gifts.
  15. Yo mama so poor, her TV only has two channels: ‘on’ and ‘off’.
  16. Yo mama so poor, a tornado hit her house and fixed it up.
  17. Yo mama so poor, I saw her walking down the street wearing one shoe, so I asked her if she’d lost one. She said, ‘No, I found one!’
  18. Yo mama so poor, the roaches pay the light bill.
  19. Yo mama so poor, the difference between her and a large pizza is that a large pizza can feed a family.
  20. Yo mama so poor, she made a new email address just so she could get some Spam.
  21. Yo mama so poor, she waves a popsicle around to create air conditioning.
  22. Yo mama so poor, she took the job at Freddy Fazbear’s twice.
  23. Yo mama so poor, she can’t afford free samples.
  24. Yo mama so poor, she can’t afford to fly off the handle. Instead, she gets a bus ticket.
  25. Yo mama so poor, she dumpster-dives for your birthday presents.
  26. Yo mama so poor, she can’t afford to waste time.

Yo Mama So Short

  1. Yo mama so short, she hang-glides on a Dorito.
  2. Yo mama so short, she broke her ankle getting off the toilet.
  3. Yo mama so short, you can see her legs on her driver’s license.
  4. Yo mama so short, she broke her leg falling off the bed.
  5. Yo mama so short, she can do backflips under the bed.
  6. Yo mama so short, your dad is a Lego.
  7. Yo mama so short, she limbos under the door.
  8. Yo mama so short, she uses a sock as a sleeping bag.
  9. Yo mama so short, she wakes up in a Lego house every morning, singing ‘Everything is awesome’.
  10. Yo mama so short, she has to dodge raindrops.
  11. Yo mama so short, the only thing she can dunk is a chicken nugget.
  12. Yo mama so short, she wears an extra large backpack to carry her iPhone with her.
  13. Yo mama so short, she drives Hot Wheels.
  14. Yo mama so short, she can sit on a penny and swing her legs beneath her.
  15. Yo mama so short, she uses a Tech Deck in the skate park.
  16. Yo mama so short, she went to Lapland and they told her to get back to work.
  17. Yo mama so short, she tried to steal the secret formula from the Krabby Patty.
  18. Yo mama so short, she ties her shoelaces while standing.
  19. Yo mama so short, she swims in puddles when it rains for long enough.
  20. Yo mama so short, she uses a toothpick as a pool cue.
  21. Yo mama so short, she looks up to Lil Wayne.
  22. Yo mama so short, she uses a marble and a thimble, and pretends she’s Michael Jordan.

Yo Mama So Tall

  1. Yo mama so tall, she tripped in Michigan and face planted Florida.
  2. Yo mama so tall, she did a push up and burnt her back against the sun.
  3. Yo mama so tall, she can see her house from anywhere.
  4. Yo mama so tall, kids pay to ride her at fair grounds.
  5. Yo mama so tall, she has to do backflips to maintain oxygen.
  6. Yo mama so tall, you had to wear an oxygen mask when she gave you piggybacks.
  7. Yo mama so tall, I see her everywhere I go.
  8. Yo mama so tall, her head’s always in the clouds.
  9. Yo mama so tall, she tripped over and headbutted a cloud.
  10. Yo mama so tall, Rapunzel used her to climb out of the tower.
  11. Yo mama so tall, she went to the zoo and the giraffes looked up to her.
  12. Yo mama so tall, I had to book a flight so I could talk to her face-to-face.
  13. Yo mama so tall, she bathes in the ocean.
  14. Yo mama so tall, she high-fives with her feet.
  15. Yo mama so tall, she didn’t need to use the stairway to heaven.
  16. Yo mama so tall, she tripped in America, and landed in Australia.
  17. Yo mama so tall, she did a backflip and kicked Jesus in the face.
300 Jokes That’ll Make ‘Yo Mama’ Cry (For All Ages)

Yo Mama So Old

  1. Yo mama so old, she babysat Jesus.
  2. Yo mama so old, her social security number is 1.
  3. Yo mama so old, I told her to act her age and she died.
  4. Yo mama so old, dust comes out when she farts.
  5. Yo mama so old, her breast milk is made of powder.
  6. Yo mama so old, she still owes Jesus 5 bucks.
  7. Yo mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
  8. Yo mama so old, she sat next to Moses in third grade.
  9. Yo mama so old, her memory is in black and white.
  10. Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
  11. Yo mama so old that when she was born, the Dead Sea was just sick.
  12. Yo mama so old, her last name is ‘Osaurus’.
  13. Yo mama so old, she bought a clock to make a TikTok.
  14. Yo mama so old, she has autographs in her Bible.
  15. Yo mama so old, her birth certificate has expired.
  16. Yo mama so old, she waitressed at the last supper.
  17. Yo mama so old, her first pet was a velociraptor.
  18. Yo mama so old, the key on Benjamin Franklin’s kite was the key to her first apartment.
  19. Yo mama so old, her first cruise vacation was on Noah’s Ark.
  20. Yo mama so old, she went into an antique store and they started bidding on her.
  21. Yo mama so old, she wrote diary entries in history class.
  22. Yo mama so old, her age is used to measure time.
  23. Yo mama so old, when learning how to walk, she fell over and created the Big Bang.
  24. Yo mama so old, she knew Moses when he was a freshman.
  25. Yo mama so old, she helped to write the Old Testament.
  26. Yo mama so old, she walked out of a museum and the security alarms started going off.
  27. Yo mama so old, she actually found Jesus.
  28. Yo mama so old, she knew Gandalf before he could grow a beard.
  29. Yo mama so old, she knew King Kong when he was a prince.
  30. Yo mama so old, she used Old Spice body wash when it was just ‘Spice’.
  31. Yo mama so old, she bred King Charles spaniels when they were called Prince Charles spaniels.
  32. Yo mama so old, when she cuts herself, red dust comes out.

Yo Mama So Hairy

  1. Yo mama so hairy, you had carpet burn when you were born.
  2. Yo mama so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie.
  3. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture.
  4. Yo mama so hairy, she stars in Donkey Kong games.
  5. Yo mama so hairy, she shaves with a lawnmower.
  6. Yo mama so hairy, she woke up and found herself at a cage in the zoo.
  7. Yo mama so hairy, they filmed the National Geographic in her bathroom.
  8. Yo mama so hairy, people wonder why she wears a fur coat to a nude beach.
  9. Yo mama so hairy, she auditioned for Planet of the Apes, and they made her pack leader.
  10. Yo mama so hairy, your father took her out to eat, and the waiter said, ‘sorry Sir, no pets allowed’.
  11. Yo mama so hairy that when she yawns, she sounds like Chewbacca.
  12. Yo mama so hairy, Bear Grylls couldn’t find his way out of there.
  13. Yo mama so hairy, she howls at the full moon.
  14. Yo mama so hairy, she became a nudist and nobody noticed.
  15. Yo mama so hairy, the zoo offered to buy her kids.
  16. Yo mama so hairy, she looks like she’s got King Kong and Chewbacca in headlocks.

Yo Mama So Gross

  1. Yo mama so gross, she wipes her feet before she leaves the house.
  2. Yo mama so gross, she is cleaner after a mud bath.
  3. Yo mama so gross, she made Right Guard turn left.
  4. Yo mama so gross, even a car wash couldn’t clean her.
  5. Yo mama so gross, homeless people offer her soap when she walks past.
  6. Yo mama so gross, viruses catch her.
  7. Yo mama so gross, she lets the wind blow her nose.
  8. Yo mama so gross, I spoke to her over the phone and she gave me an ear infection.
  9. Yo mama so gross, the food in her refrigerator throw themselves into the garbage.
  10. Yo mama so gross, I can smell her coming this way.
  11. Yo mama so gross, even the dog refuses to lick her face.
  12. Yo mama so gross, people hike to the top of her zits and take photos of the views below.
  13. Yo mama so gross, the US government want to use her bath water as a biological weapon.
  14. Yo mama so gross, her nits have nits.

Yo Mama So Lazy

  1. Yo mama so lazy, she got fired last week, and she’s self-employed.
  2. Yo mama so lazy, she stole your identity so she could spend more time with you.
  3. Yo mama so lazy, she doesn’t have time to argue.
  4. Yo mama so lazy, she woke up from a coma and went straight back to sleep.
  5. Yo mama so lazy, the only pull-ups she’s ever done is at McDonald’s Drive Thru.
  6. Yo mama so lazy, she gets excited about cancelled plans.
  7. Yo mama so lazy, Netflix asks her, ‘Are you still watching?’ 10 times a day.
  8. Yo mama so lazy, you performed your first army crawl during your own birth.
  9. Yo mama so lazy, she was late to her own funeral.
  10. Yo mama so lazy, her naps take naps.
  11. Yo mama so lazy, she has a remote for her TV remove.
  12. Yo mama so lazy, she hasn’t aged since 1985.

Final Thoughts

There’s no doubting that most of these jokes – well, all of these jokes – are pretty immature. But, well… they’re still pretty funny.

If you want to make somebody laugh, or you really want to make fun of somebody’s mother, make sure to keep this list in mind for future reference. You never know when you’ll need to pull out a good, old-fashioned ‘yo mama’ joke.

We hope you enjoyed this article… or, at least, we hope yo mama enjoyed it.

If you liked this article, you might enjoy our post, ‘39 Best Memes To Show Your Love To That Special Someone‘.

Alexa Pratt
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