40 Dry Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hysterically

Deadpan humor is a type of comedy that relies on showing no emotions but still making jokes that will make others laugh.

40 Dry Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hysterically

Lots of the time, dry humor jokes don’t register straight away, but that’s what makes them funnier. 

Dry humor jokes are usually a lot more clever than obvious jokes too. They tell a bit of a story and once everyone gets the joke, the whole room comes alive in roars of laughter. 

If you are not too experienced in dry humor yourself, then we’ve got you covered. We’ve put together a list of 40 dry-humor jokes that will make you and others laugh hysterically.

Next time you’re in the mood to tell a joke, try these ones out for yourself! 

40 Dry Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hysterically

Each of these jokes is sure to leave you cracking up in the driest of ways.

These jokes are perfect for anyone with a dry sense of humor who wants to make everyone laugh, but wants to be a bit more deadpan about it. So let’s take a look! 

Remember, the most important thing to remember when you are telling a dry-humor joke is that it’s all about the delivery.

The timing, and the lack of emotion, it’s all really important when it comes to telling your joke. So keep that in mind before you tell these jokes! 

40 Dry Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Hysterically

1. “I asked what I should bring to the party. The hosts said: nothing, just bring a happy face. I had to cancel.”

2. “What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”

3. “What is the best way for me to eat consciously? You try not to lose consciousness when eating.”

4. “What is small, square, and green? A small green square.”

5.  “A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, with no damage. How come? He had it on airplane mode.”

6. “Why did the old man fall into the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.”

7. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”

8. “Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. ‘I’ll have to cross the road,’ says one. ‘Well, be careful,’ says the other one, ‘there’s a bus coming in an hour.’”

9. “Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, ‘I need you to help me get to the other side!’ The other guy replies, ‘You’re on the other side!’”

10. “My dad is absolutely sick and tired of his job at the dry cleaners. I went to his shop the other day, and he asked for my advice on the situation. I told him, ‘Dad, I think it’s time to throw in the towels.’”

11. “Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.”

12. How do you describe a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.

13. Do you want to know what always makes me smile? Face muscles.

14. What did one Frenchman say to the other Frenchman? How on Earth would I know? I don’t speak French.

15. What do you call a pigeon that can’t find its way back home? A pigeon.

16. I accused my husband of being too immature. Then he told me to get out of his fort.

17. What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Nothing. Rice can’t talk.

18. Do you know why I look like I can’t hear you? Because I can’t, my headphones are on.

19. What did one Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? No idea; Japanese is another language I don’t speak.

20. Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a ‘V’ formation, one line is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

21. I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic. It’s called the Plaguestation 5.

22. Why did Mr. Potato Head’s dry cleaning service go out of business? He always used too much starch.

23. “Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.”

24. “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”

25. “Why did the old man fall into the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.”

26. My friend got a job at the dry cleaners but he got stressed out because he always mixed up the orders and kept upsetting the customers. So the boss sent him to do a course in hanger management.

27. Why did the invention of the dry-erase board amaze the world? Because it was re-markable

28. “Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”

30. “What do pigs apply for dry skin? Oinkment.”

31. Why did Katie break open her piggy bank? She ran out of money.

32. Why can’t Tommy the T-rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years.

33. “Ask me why I’m such a great comedian.” “Why are you such a–” “Timing.”

34. What’s red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What’s blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

35. What did Batman say to Robin when he wanted him to get into batmobile ? -Get in the batmobile Robin.

36. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

37. There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t.

38. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.

39. Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

40. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”


Telling dry humor jokes is very much an art form, so if your jokes don’t land straight away, don’t worry! Just keep practising and try telling these jokes in different ways and eventually they will land perfectly. 

Try these jokes out for yourself and show your friends and family just how witty you actually are! These jokes are sure to get the whole room laughing and thinking you are a champion joke teller!

If you liked this article, you might enjoy our post, ‘20 Random But Funny Pieces Of Advice That Will Make You Laugh‘.

Alexa Pratt
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